“I have it all under control…” A series of one woman’s experience with a serial narcissistic, yet slightly-enlightened dude. (Chapter II)

One day after work, I took the plunge, I called him. Upon him answering and asking who the person on the phone line was, I replied, “Danielle.” He responded with, “Danielle who? I talk to thousands of people all day, how am I supposed to know who the hell you are?” I began to feel a bit small and unimportant in the realm of 7 billion people on the earth we live upon. I shot back with, “Danielle from Facebook, the one that was wallowing in my sadness.” At that point, he remembered, how could he forget such a weak minded individual? He hung his bait out there and I was finally biting, he must have been enthralled.

We talked for a couple hours that day, mainly about why I was so timid in my speech, the law of attraction, manifesting, and his favorite response, “everything is perfect.” (In the coming days I learned to absolutely hate that term… sure people can respond with something that flows with the law of attraction, but when they use the term to avoid things in conversation and to avoid the truth, it gets really annoying.) I came to learn that he worked for a life insurance company, that he talks to thousands of people a day, seemed to be super-enlightened, life-coach esque, and he also trained people to work for the same company he worked for, and lastly, he was ALWAYS driving.

After he realized he had me hooked on his fishing line of enlightenment, his phone calls and texts became more frequent, and the phone calls got longer. Sometimes throughout the day he would text me a smiley face, seemingly at the exact moment I was about to have a breakdown. He was so smart, that he began to text me when I got home, or when I would arrive at work. He told me on one of our phone-calls that he was clairvoyant, and that he often could see what anyone was doing on the other end of the phone line, whenever he wanted. Silly me… thinking that he was SO enlightened that he could “see” me, read my thoughts, and know what I was doing from a moment to moment basis. See, if I was really thinking and using my brain back then, I would’ve realized that he simply caught onto my schedule and was starting to use that to his advantage.

During the months of July and August, we talked on the phone a couple times a week. I guess I should go on to state the drastic difference in our personalities before I go any further. My zodiac sign is Virgo, you know, quiet, timid, organized, cynical dry sense of humor, always analyzing. Then there was him… an Aquarius with a self proclaimed Aries moon sign (crowd goes oooohhh, ahhhhh) Basically, we COULD NOT be more different if we tried. Every time we would talk he would try to pull me out of my shell, ask me why the heck I was always so quiet, why I couldn’t think faster or more on my toes. I was really into astrology at the time so I would try to explain to him that I had to analyze everything, and that he already KNEW EVERYTHING. One day he even went on to state that “Virgo was definitely not one of his favorite signs…” real sweet huh?

During the the month of August, my family went through some real turmoil.
Rough scenario #1: My dad had found out that he had throat cancer, and was immediately admitted into the hospital.
Rough scenario #2: My mom wanted nothing to do with my dad during this time, and the rest of my family and myself all were bearing the weight of his suffering.
Rough scenario #3: My best friend lost most of her vision in June and she often looked to me for strength, stability, and sanity. Couple rough scenarios 1-3 with my little “spiritual journey” where I felt completely misunderstood most of the time, and I had an guaranteed angry ocean that was trying its hardest to drown me!

I felt like all of my family members, friends, and co-workers expected me to be a pillar of strength. They expected me to be responsible, to stand up for my dad in his time of need, to help my mom and dad patch up their relationship problems, to be there for my best friend, and to keep business going as usual. They all needed me to be strong, and there was no breaking in front of them, or telling them that the weight was becoming too much to bear.

Left stage… bring in Mr. Enlightened! -_-

After learning of the severity of my Dads condition, I posted a “prayer request” message to all my family and friends. Mr. Enlightened caught wind of this and decided to call me. He told me that my Dad’s suffering was all his own, and that if I needed to cry or to talk, I could call him anytime. There, in that moment of time I thought I had finally found a shoulder to cry on, someone that I could tell all my troubles and worries to, and he would come up with some wonderful way of helping me deal with things. Man I wish that was the case….

As days went on, I was in and out of the hospital visiting my dad, driving up to my friends’ house to see her, and being the family mediator for everyone involved in my dads’ hospital case. I would rarely have time to call Mr. Enlightened, however he always seemed to call me right at the time I was getting off work, so I never really had a break, nor time to myself to process anything. The only time I had for myself was when I was sleeping, and man… depression and sleep are best friends in my world.

I would receive a call as soon as I would get off work, and the phone-calls would last hours, and I mean HOURS. Soon, the phone-calls began to take over what little life I had left. He would often get annoyed that I never called him, and anytime there was silence or a lack of response to his messages he would say, “RIP,” meaning I had died in his eyes. I should’ve known then that he was a little bit over the top, I mean, I didn’t really even like this guy, I was just happy to be understood for once.

One day we were having a conversation about women and makeup. He was explaining to me how utterly disgusting women today have become in society, and how they are sinning against God with their every move. He went on to state that there was a book missing from the bible by Enoch, that directly states, “how the watchers came down from heaven and taught women how to sin.” Supposedly they taught the women to wear makeup, dye their hair, perform magic, cut tree roots etc. He asked me if I wear makeup, which I responded, “a little.” (I’ve always been one to present myself in a professional, put-together manner and the products I use are 100% cruelty and chemical free.) In hoping that he would understand this, he indirectly stated that makeup and any products are utterly disgusting, and exactly what is wrong with this world. It was at that moment I began to question myself and how I lived my life, was I really sinning by wearing makeup?

During our next phone conversation he randomly (so I thought) asked me what city I lived in. I figured he could see pretty clearly on Facebook what city I lived in, so I responded rather sarcastic, “oh about an hour away from the snow, and 3 hours from the beach.” He said that he understood exactly where that was… and there I was thinking he was full of wisdom and insight yet again. I asked him what his intentions were in asking me that, which he responded with, “everything is perfect, you’ll understand soon.”

I want to make it clear that during any of our phone-calls, my naive mindset was often at the fore-front of the conversation; not the conscious, all-aware, discerning mindset that I should have been utilizing. It never came to mind to question, “maybe this dude likes me,” or “is he hitting on me?” Our conversations were always centered around how I needed to change my thinking to become an enlightened being, like him. Unfortunately, I told him everything I was interested in: spirituality, yoga, energy healing, chakras, the bible, fitness etc. I never viewed him as someone I’d be in a relationship with, more-so like a student/teacher bond, he knew this, and ran with my naive concept of the interaction.

One day in conversation he asked me how far a particular city was away from me, I had a feeling he was coming to the state I lived in, on business, and was just casually asking. (In hindsight: why wasn’t my brain working? Like “earth to Danielle, this dude is obviously stalking you.”) He told me that he had done so well for the company that he works for, that they were sending him to a city (that just so happened to be near me) on a special incentive trip. He told me that he would be here in mid-September and “if I was willing to meet some dude off of Facebook, we could go out for dinner and talk or something.”

It wasn’t long after that conversation that I really thought to myself, “is this smart?” “is this something I’m willing to go through with?” I decided to get on Facebook and do some serious research, after all, everything about him on Facebook seemed to correlate with everything he told me.

During the extensive research, I stumbled upon an ex girlfriends post that she had made public. She was directly talking about her past relationship with the guy on the other end of the phone and how he was a SERIAL NARCISSIST. She talked about how he got her 30k in debt, how she contemplated jumping off their 19 story balcony just to get away from him, and also how much she learned from the entire situation. I felt so compelled to reach out to her, to message her and ask her if it was safe to even be his friend. Upon the deciding factor to not message her, I figured Mr. Enlightened and I were only friends that had superb conversations about the universe and such, there was no need to pry into their relationship because I was in no such relationship with this guy.

(Chapter III to follow)

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